Saturday, March 27, 2010

Life is a Bench



Emotions wash over me like waves. Sadness. Mourning. Joy. Love. Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting just to tread water... I get caught up in the singularity of an event or a feeling and I forget to open my eyes and look at the beautiful gifts I have been given. I've been struggling lately... feeling alone and misunderstood. But these simple images I captured at the park last week reminded me to step back and look at my life as a whole story and to cherish the individual moments, but not to dwell in them. Each moment, each experience is simply a part of my story.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Awarded



Candace gave me this award on her blog (which I LOVE reading). So, now I get to tell 10 things about myself and then pass it on to 10 other people.
So, here we go...
1. I love trashy reality TV series. Kardashians, Real Housewives of (insert city here), the crazier the better.
2. Reading sooths me. Novels, textbooks, cereal boxes, toothpaste ingredients. If it has words, I'll stare at it.
3. I see the world in snapshots. For my children's sake I refrain from walking around with my camera 24/7, but even my memories are formed in snapshots.
4. I LOVE spending time with my siblings, and I find joy in sharing life's experiences with them.
5. I can't sleep alone. If Sean is working late, I always pile the kids in bed for a spend the night party. Sleeping bags, movies, and snuggles are mandatory.
6. I randomly count things. Objects, mental to do lists, seconds. I know... weird.
7. If I have a spare second during the day, I plop down on the couch. I even keep a pillow and blanket there for those sacred occasions.
8. I vacuum obsessively. I can't stand dirty carpet.
9. Even the thought of a cloth or gauze in my mouth, or any one's mouth, makes me gag. This makes trips to the dentist and kids' bloody lips rather challenging.
10. I miss lab every single day I'm not in school, but I miss my babies every moment I'm away from them. Quite the predicament.

A few blogs I enjoy reading...
Becki
Charlotte
Cari
Mary
Hannah
Debbie
Dawn
Vanessa
Clarissa
Candice on the rare occasion that she posts :)
Thank you ladies for sharing your life's experiences with me. They make life seem a little less challenging and a whole lot more entertaining.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Spring Cleaning



It's Spring time! The lovely, frigid weather has kept us from doing much while Drew's been out of school, but it has allowed for a little spring cleaning. Here are a few pictures of Daddy's little helper cleaning out the garage. Cleaning is always better with a helper :)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Validation

Step 1 to healing is feeling validated. To acknowledge what has happened so that you have the ability to move forward. Today, I have found my footing. I have gained my balance and now have the ability to walk away from my pain. For years, I have been waiting for my parents to fully acknowledge what they have done to me. I was frozen in time, waiting for my experiences to be acknowledged. Today, I take that power away from them. I don't need anyone to believe me or even empathise with me. I know my experiences. I recognize my feelings. I acknowledge my pain, and I validate myself. Today I move forward.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Haunted

I am haunted by memories.
Yes, even at the age of 14, eating meat... tearing into another animal's flesh with my own teeth... gave me the willy's....especially when the animal hung from a tree in our backyard for days. yuck! On this particular night, my punishment for not eating the deer meat was sleeping outside. I was deemed unworthy to be in my home because of my disobedience. Banished to the yard. Like a dog. Not even allowed to sleep in a car and forbidden to leave the yard, a stucco flower box served as my bed on that cold winter night. As I lay there breathing in the smell of fresh dirt, I dreamed of a day when I would have my own home, my own bed, and someone who would realize my worth.
By the grace of God, that day has come, but my happiness is constrained because I'm haunted by memories.
So, today I celebrate starting anew. cutting the binding ties of abuse, and celebrating the gifts that I have been given. I want to allow myself to feel the unbridled joy that I deserve so that I can give my whole self to those I love. Today I start anew.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

One in a Million



Maddi: "DOWN!!!!"
Drew: "Maddi look at the camera, right there Maddi, look at Mama Maddi"
For each one of the beautiful pictures that I post, there are a million that look like this :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Gravity



Having a child... well, more specifically having a girl, has brought gravity to my experiences. Through her innocence, I am learning my own worth. When I look into her eyes and my spirit recognizes hers, I know that I could never harm her or abandon her. I could never damage her or break her heart. When I look into her eyes, I see my noblest calling, my purpose in life. I pray that I will never fail her, so that when gravity one day settles on her, she will have peace and untarnished joy.

Monday, March 8, 2010

A Boy and A Girl

I love these two. I love that they're so different yet bonded by love. their love. my love.




Saturday, March 6, 2010

PJs and Soy






Maddi FINALLY started sleeping through the night. At a year old, we switched to milk instead of formula for her coveted bedtime bottle, and she didn't seem to adjust well. After a few weeks of sleepless nights, we switched her to soy milk and it's been eerily peaceful at night ever since. Now I just have to get use to sleeping again...

Friday, March 5, 2010

Baby Love

This little mama is always cuddling a baby doll or stealing brother's stuffed animals for some extra love.





Thursday, March 4, 2010

Girl Scout Cookie Goodness

I have the best hubby in the whole world. He scoured the entire city until he found these....



the. best. cookie. ever.

So am I mad at my hubby for buying me SIX BOXES, forcing me to yield to temptation, and allowing me to cram every single one into my fat little mouth resulting in massive weight gain? Of course not. In fact, it just makes me love him more.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Playing with the Big Kids




Spring is just around the corner, and I'm looking forward to warm weather, running through the sprinklers, and giggling kids with sticky popsicle fingers. :)
PS Please ignore the ghetto looking privacy fence in the picture above... Our great dane likes to snack on fence boards like they're milkbone biscuits.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Breathless



"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
— Maya Angelou