Wednesday, April 8, 2009

In Honor


I have been rather reflective the past few weeks. At this time three years ago, our lives changed in a way that we still don't fully comprehend. Three years ago today, my father-in-law had just died of cancer, the funeral was over, and we were trying to sort through our emotions while continuing to care for my mother-in-law. I'm glad I'm not in that same state of disorientation, but to be honest, I still haven't completely moved past the grief either. Not a day goes by that I don't look at my husband and feel a little sting of grief that his Dad isn't here to see the amazing man he has become. Each day I look at my babies knowing that their life will never be whole without knowing exactly how much their grandpa loved them and feel sad and angry that he isn't here to show them his love. Every time I see Drew playing on the floor with his cars, I flash back to the last time his grandpa got down on the carpet beside him and rolled cars around, silly engine noises and all. He was an amazing, strong man that loved completely and was devoted to his family.... if only they could remember.
The day he died, John's last words to me, full of emotion although barely audible, were 'thank you.' Without even knowing it, he showed me unconditional love, and gave me the opportunity to learn compassion and charity. So to him I return those final words....Thank you John.

6 comments:

Beth said...

That breaks my heart. I'm so grateful for eternal families, and at least you know that you can do the work for them when the time comes.

Jude and Ashley said...

When I think about my mom I feel the same way. I feel like she has missed out on so much and I feel like our family has missed out on not having her here with us. I wish Jude and our children could know here the way I did. I guess that is what eternity is for. And Heavenly Father knows what He is doing. I find comfort in that.

Becki said...

So sad. Is that picture Drew or your husband?

The Glouners said...

it's Drew :)

Sandy said...

That was a precious and amazing tribute. I tell my little Marky about his Papa all the time. My Dad would have adored that little guy.
I know you were an angel to them.

The Florida Glouner's said...

You really have a way with words. Your tribute to John was beautiful and we too miss him. Wish that we were able to see Drew and Maddi more often to help make up for the loss of their grandfather.