Sunday, October 11, 2009
Another Year Older and Wiser Too
My birthday was last week. Nothing amazing happened. It was really just like any other day. I worked two jobs, took care of the kids by myself, got peed on and snotted on, ate cereal for dinner, and called it a day. Unfortunately, this year I'm a little chubbier than last and have a few more strands of grey hair, but other than that, time has been very kind to me. Each year that passes seems to bring with it a bit more confidence in who I have become, and a greater sense of gratitude for the beautiful family and friends that surround me. This year, though, I was a bit conflicted. I had planned on graduating from school by now, blossoming in my new career, being active in volunteer work, and maintaining my rockin' body. I know... pretty selfish aspirations, but I was pretty content with the mastery of my mothering, wife, and church responsibilities and felt ready to tackle a few more personal goals. Well... I obviously didn't rack up as many personal achievements as I intended, and it's been pretty hard to get that nagging feeling of failure to go away.
I guess this year has brought with it a realization that sometimes goals are met that we have been too blind to set. I created and brought a new life into this world. Not on my to-do list, but an amazing achievement none the less. Maybe God saw a need for me to improve the skills that I felt I had already mastered. Maybe He knew I could grow, that I could become a better wife, a better mother, and a better woman. Maybe He knew I had a greater potential than I had realized. So, with my twenty-sixth year being much different than I anticipated, I still look back with humility and gratitude. I am absolutely, positively sure that I will eventually check off every thing on my bucket list, but right now I am thankful that I can find joy and purpose in each day, in each giggle, in each smelly diaper. My children truly are my purpose and my joy.