Sunday, October 11, 2009

Another Year Older and Wiser Too



My birthday was last week. Nothing amazing happened. It was really just like any other day. I worked two jobs, took care of the kids by myself, got peed on and snotted on, ate cereal for dinner, and called it a day. Unfortunately, this year I'm a little chubbier than last and have a few more strands of grey hair, but other than that, time has been very kind to me. Each year that passes seems to bring with it a bit more confidence in who I have become, and a greater sense of gratitude for the beautiful family and friends that surround me. This year, though, I was a bit conflicted. I had planned on graduating from school by now, blossoming in my new career, being active in volunteer work, and maintaining my rockin' body. I know... pretty selfish aspirations, but I was pretty content with the mastery of my mothering, wife, and church responsibilities and felt ready to tackle a few more personal goals. Well... I obviously didn't rack up as many personal achievements as I intended, and it's been pretty hard to get that nagging feeling of failure to go away.
I guess this year has brought with it a realization that sometimes goals are met that we have been too blind to set. I created and brought a new life into this world. Not on my to-do list, but an amazing achievement none the less. Maybe God saw a need for me to improve the skills that I felt I had already mastered. Maybe He knew I could grow, that I could become a better wife, a better mother, and a better woman. Maybe He knew I had a greater potential than I had realized. So, with my twenty-sixth year being much different than I anticipated, I still look back with humility and gratitude. I am absolutely, positively sure that I will eventually check off every thing on my bucket list, but right now I am thankful that I can find joy and purpose in each day, in each giggle, in each smelly diaper. My children truly are my purpose and my joy.

2 comments:

Clarissa and Matt said...

Loved this post. I completely feel you sooo much! And you are right, the Lord knows us--he knows what we need and when we need to grow. But I also know that you are going to be able to accomplish those other high goals you have set for yourself. Wirthlin said, "We need to do all that is in our power to accomplish our goals and the Lord will make up the difference." Sounds like you are absolutely doing that! You are AMAZING!

P.S.
Happy Late Birthday! : )

The Douglas & Lydia Stewart Clan said...

Happy Birthday to you! I actually thought of you- truly! Should have sent you a little shout out!